Africa. The word itself encapsulates mystery. It brings to mind untouched tribes, suffocatingly lush jungles, lions sleeping under trees, elephants spewing river water over their backs in the heat of the sun, along with the everyday danger and adventure. It’s where the wild things actually are. Historically, it reminds us of what a colonized and conquered nation resembles, and the effects are still quite visible. The land is scarred by centuries of warfare, and even now there are areas which are beyond the reach of reason and sanity, caught in fresh combat; where the stench of suffering is rife.
So why am I going to this place? What is calling me to the African savannahs?
Is it too cheesy to say that on March 19th (yes, I actually remember the day-the moment even) I felt God touch my heart for Africa in such an undeniable way that the natural reaction, the only thing one could possibly have done, was to immediately fall into action? I knew that God was calling me to serve in Africa, as soon as possible. Initially, I wanted to take time off of college life and take a teaching position in Cairo, Egypt.
The opportunity came through the open option to take time off of school and “get lost in the wilderness for a while”. In the Bible, Moses wanders into the wilderness, and it is there that he runs into God. The idea has appealed to me for a while, and was rekindled by divine intervention back in March. Unfortunately, Egypt didn’t work out. However, God connected the wires for me to go to another awesome place in Africa; to Blantyre, Malawi, to be an elementary school teacher…for 10 months. Sa-weet!
I don’t know how it happened, but everything fell together-timing, dates, available space, enough money, open arms-and I was offered the opportunity to go with the La Mesa team to gear up for Tanzania (which is right above Malawi, by the way) for the two weeks before my teaching career begins, in early August.
Hands free, without much effort at all, everything was settled. All I had to do was nod my head to God and He got the wheels turning in every single facet. It’s been the most amazing experience merely to watch God work. It has been my pleasure to be working also in Tanzania and I cannot fathom how God will use us, mold us, and reveal to us the ways that we can serve Him during this time. Cheers!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Skip, Hop, BOOM!!!...Africa
This blog is to commemorate a moment. A moment when I was in a puragtory between past and future, but right outside of the present. Have you ever been there?
It's almost like The Wood Between the Worlds in C.S. Lewis' Narnia Chronicles. You're going from pool to pool in that quiet wood, wondering which you ought to jump into. This one, or that..? Should you just walk around with your eyes closed and let yourself fall into one? Because, of course, it's impossible to tell what a world is like merely by looking at its pool (figurative speech of course).
So let me put this into context.
I had put all of my energy and secret wishes into making sure that I could go to Egypt this next year as a student missionary. It was a decision made for a specific purpose: I wanted to live in Egypt. Yeah, it's selfish, and I'll be the first to admit it. The position was located in my favorite area of the world, to teach my favorite subject: History. Could anyone ask for anything more perfect?
And I knew, without a doubt, that I would get this call. I don't know WHERE such confidence came from.
That's why when I got an email telling me that I wasn't accepted, I went catatonic. What? Not accepted? What do you mean, not accepted? I had to read and re-read the email about six times before it clicked. I am not going to Egypt.
I found myself a little peeved. Wasnt this what God wanted for me? I thought I was going on His say-so, and now the whole reason I was going in the first place is deleted from the list. Okay, now what?!
So, I found myself without a place. This is a very terrifying feeling, not to mention horribly confusing. The way the process works, once you're application gets rejected from your first choice, it moves on to your second choice. I hadnt planned for this happening(since I was very silly, and overly confident in getting the Egypt job), and had to very quickly scramble to make a list of other positions I was interested in, in different areas of the world. Of course, nothing else sounded exciting, compared to Egypt.
I prayed so hard about it I thought I would faint. In one morning, I needed to decide where I was going to spend my whole next year. But I had no idea where God wanted me! I was wrong the first time, so what makes me qualified to try again?! I felt like I had to guess where He wanted me, which I hated. It HAD to be the right place, not just a convenient one.
To make this whole situation even better, it was finals week. So whilst studying, i was plagued like nothing else by a crisis which resulted in where I would live, and what I would be doing for a span of ten months. Talk about a headache.
Finally, I threw up my hands and prayed that God would lead me to wherever I was needed. If the first choice was wrong, God, just let them reject me so we can move onto the next. It was the epitome of shooting in the dark. It was me asking, "Which pool is the right one?" and getting no answer.
I ended up chosing three different positions in Africa, for jobs I considered myself very inadequate to fill. One was for a high school religion teacher in Kenya, another for an elementary school teacher in Malawi, and one to be a librarian in Chad. I couldnt tell you which one I wanted more. At this point, it didnt matter.
To my GREATEST surprise, I didnt have long to wait. The very next morning, less than 24 hours later (!), my SM coordinator called to tell me that I had been accepted to fill a position. It was for the one in Malawi, to be the elementary school teacher. What?! God, is this you??
I found myself ankle-deep in a pool.
Honestly, I didnt even know how to react. I hadnt mentally prepared myself to be accepted to a place so soon. I had to keep repeating it to myself: "I am going to Malawi. I am going to Malawi. Yes. I am going to Malawi."
Despite the surprise and unexpectedness of the switch in locations, I knew that it was God pointing me in a direction and giving me every possible sign that I needed. Obviously, Malawi was the spot. Which was weird for me to comprehend. We had studied Malawi in my geography class, and I had heard a lot about it. And yet even hearing and learning about it, it was still the last place I would have imagined myself.
In retropect, I figure God used the Egypt call to woo me into the mission field now(The original plan was to go two years from now). But I think God knows me well, and I realize that mission callings are not meant to be chosen based on the missionary's preferences, but on what is best for the building of their character. I had chosen to apply to Egypt because it would have cool for ME, not anyone else. And that's wrong. I kind of knew it before, but I really know it now. And now that I think about it, I glad to go to Malawi because I know God has something special planned for me there. Like a gift-wrapped present, I have joy in receiving it, but have no idea what's inside. All I can do is trust that He knows me well enough to give me something that will totally clutch my heart.
God works in small, subtle ways, as well as monumental ones. It's the coolest thing to witness it yourself. You kind of have to make yourself stop and consider what just happened. And once you do that, you realize that there isnt any way that it just happened on its own. That was God. It was His invisible hand, pushing along your little life.
God speaks to us each in a language which we understand. Through small signs, to coincidences, to logic, to intution, to moments that seemed insignificant yet altered everything in the most dramatic way. He comprehends our minds because He's the inventor of them. He knows the ways, and plans, and secret wishes of our hearts and souls because he graphed, purposed them, and designed them to love the things which it loves. In our raw states, we are soley the art of God. So I trust Him to know what's good for me.
So, I guess we'll see how it goes. I'll be writing about my experiences in Malawi while I am there. The girl I am going with will also be blogging about it, so you can feel free to read hers as well. You can check the blogs I follow, and I'm pretty sure you'll find hers quick. :)
Just so you know, I expect to come back a different person. And I will go so far as to say that if I do NOT come back a different person, I will be giving up all hope for myself. But there's no point dwelling on that idea, because if anything alters a person more, it's getting that person outside of what is familiar and comfortable and forced to rely upon themselves, and on God.
So, cool. I guess that's all. I had to write it all down, to recognize its worth. In a way, it's being still, and knowing God. It's like putting on glasses and seeing clearly. I see God in my life, working mysteriously under the surfaces. Which is really cool. You should try it sometime.
And since it's big news and all, I figured it was worth a little blog. Plus, I have to remain faithful to this for the next year at least. No slacking. Practice makes perfect, they say.
It's almost like The Wood Between the Worlds in C.S. Lewis' Narnia Chronicles. You're going from pool to pool in that quiet wood, wondering which you ought to jump into. This one, or that..? Should you just walk around with your eyes closed and let yourself fall into one? Because, of course, it's impossible to tell what a world is like merely by looking at its pool (figurative speech of course).
So let me put this into context.
I had put all of my energy and secret wishes into making sure that I could go to Egypt this next year as a student missionary. It was a decision made for a specific purpose: I wanted to live in Egypt. Yeah, it's selfish, and I'll be the first to admit it. The position was located in my favorite area of the world, to teach my favorite subject: History. Could anyone ask for anything more perfect?
And I knew, without a doubt, that I would get this call. I don't know WHERE such confidence came from.
That's why when I got an email telling me that I wasn't accepted, I went catatonic. What? Not accepted? What do you mean, not accepted? I had to read and re-read the email about six times before it clicked. I am not going to Egypt.
I found myself a little peeved. Wasnt this what God wanted for me? I thought I was going on His say-so, and now the whole reason I was going in the first place is deleted from the list. Okay, now what?!
So, I found myself without a place. This is a very terrifying feeling, not to mention horribly confusing. The way the process works, once you're application gets rejected from your first choice, it moves on to your second choice. I hadnt planned for this happening(since I was very silly, and overly confident in getting the Egypt job), and had to very quickly scramble to make a list of other positions I was interested in, in different areas of the world. Of course, nothing else sounded exciting, compared to Egypt.
I prayed so hard about it I thought I would faint. In one morning, I needed to decide where I was going to spend my whole next year. But I had no idea where God wanted me! I was wrong the first time, so what makes me qualified to try again?! I felt like I had to guess where He wanted me, which I hated. It HAD to be the right place, not just a convenient one.
To make this whole situation even better, it was finals week. So whilst studying, i was plagued like nothing else by a crisis which resulted in where I would live, and what I would be doing for a span of ten months. Talk about a headache.
Finally, I threw up my hands and prayed that God would lead me to wherever I was needed. If the first choice was wrong, God, just let them reject me so we can move onto the next. It was the epitome of shooting in the dark. It was me asking, "Which pool is the right one?" and getting no answer.
I ended up chosing three different positions in Africa, for jobs I considered myself very inadequate to fill. One was for a high school religion teacher in Kenya, another for an elementary school teacher in Malawi, and one to be a librarian in Chad. I couldnt tell you which one I wanted more. At this point, it didnt matter.
To my GREATEST surprise, I didnt have long to wait. The very next morning, less than 24 hours later (!), my SM coordinator called to tell me that I had been accepted to fill a position. It was for the one in Malawi, to be the elementary school teacher. What?! God, is this you??
I found myself ankle-deep in a pool.
Honestly, I didnt even know how to react. I hadnt mentally prepared myself to be accepted to a place so soon. I had to keep repeating it to myself: "I am going to Malawi. I am going to Malawi. Yes. I am going to Malawi."
Despite the surprise and unexpectedness of the switch in locations, I knew that it was God pointing me in a direction and giving me every possible sign that I needed. Obviously, Malawi was the spot. Which was weird for me to comprehend. We had studied Malawi in my geography class, and I had heard a lot about it. And yet even hearing and learning about it, it was still the last place I would have imagined myself.
In retropect, I figure God used the Egypt call to woo me into the mission field now(The original plan was to go two years from now). But I think God knows me well, and I realize that mission callings are not meant to be chosen based on the missionary's preferences, but on what is best for the building of their character. I had chosen to apply to Egypt because it would have cool for ME, not anyone else. And that's wrong. I kind of knew it before, but I really know it now. And now that I think about it, I glad to go to Malawi because I know God has something special planned for me there. Like a gift-wrapped present, I have joy in receiving it, but have no idea what's inside. All I can do is trust that He knows me well enough to give me something that will totally clutch my heart.
God works in small, subtle ways, as well as monumental ones. It's the coolest thing to witness it yourself. You kind of have to make yourself stop and consider what just happened. And once you do that, you realize that there isnt any way that it just happened on its own. That was God. It was His invisible hand, pushing along your little life.
God speaks to us each in a language which we understand. Through small signs, to coincidences, to logic, to intution, to moments that seemed insignificant yet altered everything in the most dramatic way. He comprehends our minds because He's the inventor of them. He knows the ways, and plans, and secret wishes of our hearts and souls because he graphed, purposed them, and designed them to love the things which it loves. In our raw states, we are soley the art of God. So I trust Him to know what's good for me.
So, I guess we'll see how it goes. I'll be writing about my experiences in Malawi while I am there. The girl I am going with will also be blogging about it, so you can feel free to read hers as well. You can check the blogs I follow, and I'm pretty sure you'll find hers quick. :)
Just so you know, I expect to come back a different person. And I will go so far as to say that if I do NOT come back a different person, I will be giving up all hope for myself. But there's no point dwelling on that idea, because if anything alters a person more, it's getting that person outside of what is familiar and comfortable and forced to rely upon themselves, and on God.
So, cool. I guess that's all. I had to write it all down, to recognize its worth. In a way, it's being still, and knowing God. It's like putting on glasses and seeing clearly. I see God in my life, working mysteriously under the surfaces. Which is really cool. You should try it sometime.
And since it's big news and all, I figured it was worth a little blog. Plus, I have to remain faithful to this for the next year at least. No slacking. Practice makes perfect, they say.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
for time, for dreams, for faith, for existence
passions, emotions, they take hold, they grab hold.
and i am like one who is held back by the ocean
from pursuing innumerable wonders
that would fill my head with adventures
and my heart with love.
o what a world that we live in!
so beautiful, yet filled with many significant inconveniences.
restlessness paired with impassioned hearts,
and limbs aching for action,
yet constrained by time and space.
progressive anxiety burrows into the muscles that crowd my neck,
and my joints pop as often as i step.
tonight, i am extra everything.
wishful squared and restless.
seeking, longing, praying for differences.
my faith is standing on a thin white line,
barely moving, yet daring to leap.
a little speck, a tiny spark, is all it needs,
to catapult into the great unknown which is our future.
my future.
the one i am waiting for, but not presuming to know.
and when it does arrive, the question is
will i recognize its presence, or
will it blend in like smell,
and simply be another part of me?
and i am like one who is held back by the ocean
from pursuing innumerable wonders
that would fill my head with adventures
and my heart with love.
o what a world that we live in!
so beautiful, yet filled with many significant inconveniences.
restlessness paired with impassioned hearts,
and limbs aching for action,
yet constrained by time and space.
progressive anxiety burrows into the muscles that crowd my neck,
and my joints pop as often as i step.
tonight, i am extra everything.
wishful squared and restless.
seeking, longing, praying for differences.
my faith is standing on a thin white line,
barely moving, yet daring to leap.
a little speck, a tiny spark, is all it needs,
to catapult into the great unknown which is our future.
my future.
the one i am waiting for, but not presuming to know.
and when it does arrive, the question is
will i recognize its presence, or
will it blend in like smell,
and simply be another part of me?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)