so far, ive deduced that ideas and emotions transfer from mind to heart to hand to another hand to another heart to another mind

My life is both full and confusing right now.

It is full because of the beautiful opportunities I have in front of me, and because of them, I feel myself growing in countless directions.

And yet, with all of these opportunities, I feel more puzzled than ever.

I am an idealist. A strong one, at that. And as a committed idealist, I am searching for truth. So I look in all things till I can find shreds of enlightenment here or there.

As an adventist, I like to think that I have mostly found all the truth there is, in Jesus. But, I have also found that organized religion can be a bit stifling sometimes. Nothing against my religion, I agree with most of its practices, of course. But I think there are always things that need more looking into, more prodding. Who said we were done discovering all things about God? Did we learn all we could about the Bible back in the nineteenth century when they pioneered the adventist movement? I highly doubt that.

So, I am on, what you would call, a spiritual journey. I am hungering to find truth behind walls of set rules and regulations. I am reading a book by Ed Dobson, called The Year of Living Like Jesus. It’s spectacular. It really opens your eyes to what it would be like to live as a first century disciple, and even more so, like Jesus. Dobson literally lived out the lifestyle and teachings of Jesus, and its amazing to read about. It totally changes the entire way you look at things.

I think I didn’t realize I was on this journey till I actually classified it all in my mind. Once I gave a name to what I've been thinking about and studying, it hit me: Im Searching. whoa. that was weird.

but once you start, you cannot stop. growth never ceases.

so far, I have come to the conclusion that as long as you are following Jesus, you are following truth. and that is a beautiful place to start on a spiritual journey, i think.

But now, my quest is to grab hold those things which Jesus taught, and plant them into my own sphere. Like with a garden, you have to nurture your fragile spiritual nature. In this case, im feeling rather infantile and newly sown. But I like the idea of planting. It deepens your level of understanding, and searching-or being searched you could say (by God).

That’s how we idealists are. We never tire of searching. We are always curious to know more. We search for truth in all measures, in all places, in all things. Art, and kindness, and culture. Science, personality, even math, can be totally revealing of truth. It seems like everything we study or practice is the representative of some truth. So, we have to dig those meanings out, the ones embedded in the grain of life itself, to practice what could be called a veiled reality.

So, as I am becoming more exposed to these truths, and as I decide what I would like to do with my life, and the places I would like to go, I am firstly confronted by the need of including Jesus in all of these things.

I have come to realize that Jesus is my only constant companion, and for that I am eternally grateful. I can never feel altogether lonely on any given day, because His presence is there, even if I cannot see it or feel it.

In my quest for truth, I find that the first step is to open your heart to Jesus. From there, I'm pretty sure you can be lead to wherever it is you need to be.

I’m still learning a lot. Still studying and reading, and praying and thinking thinking thinking. Sometimes I waste the whole day thinking, buried in the recesses of my mind, under the clutter of meanings and information and surgical diagnosis' of what it means to be a true Christ-follower.

And that’s really where I’m at right now. and for some reason, im pretty okay with that. in my objective quest for living a life devoted to Jesus, i know that all these will come in their proper times, and i am content to search and be searched by God. its not even so much searching, but seeking, which is different. searching implies something you cannot see and have no idea where to start looking. seeking is more charted, in my opinion. maybe its just vernacular, but i prefer seeking to searching. i feel like i have more of a set course, not a wild maze of unpredictable options.

but whether it is seeking or searching (mere technicalities of course), i dont plan on stopping any time soon. and even if i find what i think i am looking for, i know that there will always be more to know. again, growth never ceases. so i guess im in for a lifetime of adventure. the very prospect is exciting.